Fall break is too far away so I stayed home...

This is me right now.

Good morning,

Today I decided to take a sick day. Yes, I probably could have gone to school with a sore throat but since I'm at the point where I want to cry just thinking about all the things I have to do this week I elected to take the day off, rest up and then take it on with gusto tomorrow. I have not decided whether this is a smart thing to do or simply baby-like. Nevertheless, here I sit. So I thought I would write since it's been a while.

Things to update you on.

It's a uphill climb.

Grades: I got back 3 out of 5 midterms. Marks were 82, 88, and 80. The two 80 marks were in the same class which is very frustrating to me because I felt like I did so much better. This is what being a pre-vet turns you into, you feel like shit when you get 80's. Oh well, there's still time to fix those.

I went to talk to Dr. Clover Bench about applications and pre-reqs etc. I left feeling pretty terrible. It is so overwhelming to be attempting to "do it all". I was volunteering at a Spay and Neuter clinic in Hobbema from 8:30am to 9:30pm this Saturday and all the while I am worrying about my large animal experience. But you do what you can do, right? My biggest red flag is that I don't have a vet to use as a reference yet! Those of you that are prevet reading this may find this shocking and assume I am hideously unorganized. Maybe or maybe not. I have been very flip floppy on my desire to go to vet school since first year. As such, I have what I feel is a (relatively) wide range of experience but I have no one vet that I have worked with for longer than a few months. So I am up the creek. Not sure what to do about this one...

I also feel like there is somewhat of a barrier with other prevets that I am trying to break down. I know that it is competitive but I for one would love to have open and honest conversations with others about our different backgrounds without the judgmental edge. It feels like if you ask someone what they have been doing in preparation for the applications, you are challenging them. I really feel strongly that we should be dismantling this convention. (Is it just me?) I would love a friend to talk to who is going through the same thing as me. As a caveat to this, I did talk with one acquaintance over the weekend who was very helpful and willing to share information, so I know its not everyone...  

The big picture is pretty nice, its just all a little massive!

I had an interesting talk with my mum about this whole process. I am lucky enough that, and this was news to me, my parents are willing and able to support me through school. This opens up possibilities about applying internationally. However the price jumps from $8000-$12,000/year tuition in Canada to $20,000-$50,000 internationally (the most expensive being in the States). That is not including air fare and cost of living! Yikes. It raises questions for me about how far I'd be willing to go to become a vet. The best part about talking to Dr. Bench was that she let me know about an after degree at U of A that I could get in the faculty of ALES if I am not successful this year. This really appeals to me because it would likely only take one more year (since I am a science student) and it would allow me to continue to upgrade/enhance my application.

I will hit the ground running tomorrow! Right after I take a nap... ; )

 So those are some things running through my head at the moment. I did want to write a blog post about adoption and pure bred dogs but I guess I will save it for another day. Hope everyone is doing well with exams. Keep on trucking!

Happy Halloween! 

Meeting Dr. Big Shot!

I've just come back from the CanWest Veterinary Conference in Banff. This was the first year they had a student symposium and the vets were a little confused at my presence. At the meet and greet on the first night I was asked (on several occasions) who I was and upon recieving the answers I got a confused look and a "and why are you...?"

"Here?" I would reply. "There is a student symposium tomorrow"

"Oh." Accompanied by a  "I'm just going to go get some more food" and a hasty retreat.

I did feel a little as though I had a visible communicable disease on the first night but perseverance and more than a little wine got me through almost two hours of standing alone at a table staring wistfully at all the other vets chatting happily with their collegues. When I recognized my own vet (singing and playing guitar in effort to gain interest in the jam part of the evening), I was overcome with relief. I did know ONE person. And as it turns out, I knew quite a few people. Eventually I spotted a professor from U of A that I've worked with at Spay and Neuter clinics, she was kind enough to introduce me to a few others. The next day I saw the lady who started Spay and Neuter as well as her cheif vet, who told me they would love to come speak to the pre-vet club at U of A. And in the end I got some great advice from a few of the speakers and AHTs (Animal Health Technologists) at the conference. Not bad at all, although I paid the high price of extreme awkwardness, embarrassment and general lack of self confidence in the process. (I'm pretty sure my legs/butt were constantly shaking for hours because I was so nervous.)

The next day was much better. We had lecture in the morning from 8 to 1 with four speakers. One was the Cheif Veterinarian for CFIA (Canadian Food Inspection Agency) and had an impressive list of other credentials. The three others all worked for AB Agriculture and Rural development which was helpful to understand what kind of roles vets can play outside of private practice. Also, I noticed that although there are way more female students applying and getting into vet school than men, the majority of the bigwigs at the conference were all male. Is this simply a generational trend that will dissolve in coming years or is this a product of the very annoying but unavoidable fact that many women choose to somewhat sacrifice their careers in order to spend time with their children?

The topics of the lectures were all Biosecurity but with a different emphasis for each. The first explained the One Health concept and how it is impossible to treat ecosystem, human health and animal health in isolation. From a biology background, this is quite inuitive to me, after all, the divisions humans have made between animal, domestic, wildlife and homosapian are somewhat arbitrary, no? We do love to classify things... But the lecture was very interesting and well put on. The second described the Foot and Mouth situation in the UK in detail as well as the challenges in biosecurity in dealing with developing countries. Those two were my favorite. After the break, an epidemeologist taked about anti-microbial resistance and then two vets from the biosecurity division of AB ag and rural development demonstrated how to be biosecure in a crisis (hint: a mask, gloves, three layers of coveralls and a heck of a lot of ducktape!)

Then there was a trade fair during which various vendors would try to sell me surgical equiment until I jumped in with a hurried "I'm just an undergrad" at which point they would avoid all contact. (I might note that I was the only undergrad who was not in a vet college or AHT program at the whole conference. Also, there were one two students that were actually in vet school yet a lot of the lecturers kept saying things like, "when you are vets...".) And then, the best part of the weekend...

I was just about to leave when the manager of the ABVMA (Alberta Veterinary Medical Association) recognized me from the night before and asked, "Did you meet Dr. Big Shot?" Dr. Alastair Cribb is the dean of Veterinary Medicine at the U of C. The night before I had been asking about him because I knew he was in attendance. I said no and so she dragged me to him and promptly introduced me. While she was asking him about some logistical matter I started to panic. She had told him I had a question for him. My mind was blank, I had absolutely nothing to say to this man! I really wanted to meet him but it was going to be a poor impression if I said hello and just stared arkwardly. Before I knew it he said "Walk with me" and we were walking, him looking at me expectantly. And then I was mysteriously telling him about my back injury and how it had affected my acedemic performance and on and on and did he have any advice for me? WELL. Not only did he give me his full attention for a whole 10 minutes, he give me personal advice on my grades (yes, I verbatum told The Dean about my abysmal 3rd year marks. Oh god, I said I'd tell you didn't I? Ok, it's no secret, 2.8 (Thank you again to Dr. Bergens)) as well as the interview (read the paper everyone!). It was exhilerating. I left the conference happy and full of hope. Thank you Dr. Big shot! (And I'm not being facetious here, I honestly do think he is a big deal and a very kind man from my first impression)

I know that makes me a total geek and a suck up but honestly it was just so nice to see all these people for whom my dream is a reality. Women that have done it all, they have a successful career, kids and a loving husband (I don't know why this is such a surprize to me as my mum is one of these, she is an MD and has 2 children). And real vets talking about pertinent subjects that I had no trouble understanding and was interested in. It was also really cool to see all the different places having a DVM can take you. Its not all small animal practice. It was a real boost in motivation and I would highly encourage other pre-vet students to go next year. I think having a group of us would take away some of the tougher parts of the weekend. I definitely think I did the right thing by going, I just hope my midterm marks for this week won't suffer too badly!

Oh and the best part? My dad and I listened to James Harriot tapes on the way home. <3

Big Picture

So for the last little while I've been asking myself this question, "How are young people supposed to do it all?"

To me, it seems like twentysomethings have this huge to do list: get an education, get a good job, get married, buy car, buy house, get pet, have babies... and it's all "supposed" to be done in the ten years you have before you are thirty.

First of all, where are we getting the MONEY to do all these things??? Out of my list above, only one of them doesn't take significant amounts of cash.

So far my order of these things has been education, pet, car. Inevitably when I think about these things I ended up asking myself, "what's the rush?". Well, honestly in my case it feels as though there is an order to things that can't be ignored. It's starts like this: if I want my parents to be around for their grandkids I should start having kids by the time I'm 30 (7 years and counting). If I want kids by the time I'm 30 I need a job and probably should have worked for a few years first (5 years). If I want a job I have to be done vet school in 5 years... which means I need to start... NEXT year. Ugh. Ergo pressure.

However, the last paragraphs has a heck of a lot of SHOULDS in it. Something that I have learned is not a healthy way to live your life (thx Sarah). So then, what is a good way to think about it? How about from the "do what makes you happy" perspective? Ok, then what do I want right now? How do I want to live my days? Well, I want to get married. And I want to be working towards a career that is fulfilling in what I'm doing but also flexible so that I can have a family and be there with them. The irony of becoming a vet is it is so extreme to the "invest now, reap rewards later" that sometimes the risk doesn't feel worth it. How tempting is it for me to just graduate, find any job and start my marriage NOW? Very. (Which brings us back to the question, what's the rush?)


Ok, so I've semi reasoned my way into trying to get into vet school for at least two years and if I fail, re-evaluating then. Fine. But now, add third layer of dimension. The boyfriend, hereafter known as Bubs. Bubs is 27, has finished a chem masters degree and has now decided to go back to do an engineering degree because his is worth dick-all. Great! Lovely! I fully support you dear, emotionally that is. But where oh where, are we getting funds to pay for two professional degrees, housing and (pretty please) a wedding? I just don't understand how society sets us up for failure like this. Bubs and I both come from pretty financially solid backgrounds. What do all the other families do? Is it normal that my mother should be supporting me until I'm 30? These types of questions just baffled and demoralize. It really does seem like a rite of passage to adulthood: you must do these tasks and you must do it while eating crappy food and living in small cramped quarters, you will get 25 cents to live on, and you will have no time to spend on frivolous things like exercise!

At present, I'm just clinging to the belief, it will all work out in the end. Which it will I suppose. But big picture stuff is just so daunting. Which is why at the end of the day I shrink up my view, and I take it one day at a time; try to get the best marks I can and save as much money as I can (which really should be enough incentive to pack a lunch!). Man oh man. I guess that's it for now, I really don't have any conclusions... I'll let you know when I'm thirty how much of my lofty to do list I actually can accomplish. But people do, people do .